The only emotion that I want to feel right now is despair, but I think I’ve become more resilient – more vaguely hopeful, as if the cumulonimbus descended and everything beyond my immediate field of vision turned hazy and indistinct, and therefore possibly better.
—
They did not just expect me to play soldier; I was an undertaker, a gardener; an insidious custodian of a penetrating nature, bending the elements to my will, even destructively – but always maintaining my place among the dense copse, hiding as if I’d done something gravely wrong. And maybe I have, to have had this unfortunate sequence of events line my path. But I’ve told myself I’d plow through it all, and plow through I shall.
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