It’s one thing when a pill you take makes you feel drowsy; it’s a whole new cathedral of bullshit when the pharmaceutical in question suddenly and potently induces lethargy just at the moment you resolve to start on work.
Why thank you very much, Fedac. Should I want to subject myself again to ‘disturbed coordination’ in future, I’ll try my luck with alcohol.
It was Good Friday a couple of hours ago. As anyone could guess I am not what you would call your average exuberant upper-middle-class protestant-or-independent-church-going quotes-Christian-song-lyrics loves-strumming-the-guitar repeat-chorus-ad-infinitum Singaporean youth - I ask (perhaps too many) questions and look/wait for the answers to this existential paradox, just as I suppose everyone does in his or her own way. Even then, I guess I have quite a few things to be thankful for, notwithstanding the mounting pressures of a hectic academic curriculum that seems designed to impel students to expand their vocabularies of swear words, if nothing else: I’ve actually made significant headway on some of my more important assignments, and have at least one already virtually confirmed for a distinction grade. I think the way the Catholics so fastidiously celebrate Good Friday and indeed the whole Easter Triduum is enthralling, and I would love to go through the motions in the future, perhaps when this backbreaking scholastic baggage is all shed and forgotten, hopefully bartered for a certificate with digits I will be proud of.
The events of the past week have been perspicuously illustrating, yet again, that the world is fundamentally ambiguous: a furore at school, Barack Obama’s outstanding address on race, the regrettable (and by that I mean facepalm-worthy) violence in Lhasa. This indeterminacy of the universe’s constructions plagues the mind and, by extension, the soul as well. A disconcerting ambivalence in feeling persists.
I am conscious but find no stability - I find no stability because I am conscious.
